Second Hand is not Second Best
Mention second hand wedding dresses and some people will automatically think of lacy 80’s monstrosities, or grubby-looking cheap gowns. In fact ‘second hand’ is such a no-no that as an industry we’ve come up with more acceptable (if slightly ridiculous) terms such as ‘pre-loved’.
But why the stigma? Other high value purchases don’t have the same issues – many people consider a beautiful period house to be preferable to a new one, regardless of the number of previous owners, and in today’s difficult times buying a quality used car is seen as a sensible option even if you can afford new.
A wedding dress costs a lot of money, in some cases thousands of pounds, yet usually only gets worn for a few short hours – try justifying that with a house or car! And it has been cared for in a way most of us will never look after property or a vehicle.
I have personal experience of the fact that your guests will never know your wedding dress is second hand unless you tell them - my own wedding dress was once-worn, and until I started my own business selling second hand wedding dresses, none of my friends and family had realised. And now they know, do they think I’m some kind of cheapskate? No, most are impressed by my common sense and lateral thinking!
Still not convinced? Let me be clear about the two key benefits:
1. - You can save yourself huge amounts of money
As I’ve already said, wedding dresses cost a fortune – even the ‘cheap’ ones are not really cheap given that the quality and fit is often a compromise. If it wasn’t for the most important day of your life, I doubt you would consider spending hundreds or thousands on a dress you would wear for less than a day.
Consider the numbers – wedding dresses by one of the most popular mainstream designers of the moment usually start at around £800 and go up considerably higher than that, not including extras like fitting, delivery, bag etc etc etc. Search the web and you can find her dresses for less than £100 and in great condition. I know that for a fact. I’ve bought quite a few of them.
So you can look like a million dollars without spending anywhere near that. It’s not about being cheap – you can always spend what you save on making some other part of your day jaw-droppingly wonderful – you can have those hundreds of white lovebirds released to mark your joyous occasion! Or you can just put the money in the Bank and be smug in the knowledge of your financial acumen.
And don’t forget – if you choose to sell it again afterwards, you’ll probably pretty much get back the little you did pay for your divine gown in the first place!
2. - You can have the top designer dress you wouldn’t be able to afford otherwise.
Instead of spending less on a wedding dress, buying second hand also means that dresses you could never have dreamed of affording are now in your price range.
If, like many of us, the Vera Wang’s and Suzanne Neville’s were just a fantasy in your quiet moments, buy second hand and they could become a reality. Yes, there are fewer of them around than the more mainstream designers, but plan ahead, be a little flexible and it could really happen! Your budget may suddenly stretch just far enough!
OK, you’re convinced – so where do you start looking?
Once you’ve opened up to the idea of a second hand wedding dress, you’ll see there are many places to find them – mostly online, but also in the ‘real world’ too. Here are some of the places to look:
EBay – the giant of the online auction world is, love it or hate it, one of the best sources for a second hand wedding dress. With over 40,000 dresses for in some cases less than the cost of a meal, there are plenty of options if you’re flexible. Or, if time is on your side, you can set up a search for the specific dress you want, and who knows, you may just find it!
Other online agencies – there are plenty of online agencies and sites to find a once worn wedding dress, some specialising in bridal wear, others in second hand goods generally. Just search on ‘once worn’ or ‘second hand’ wedding dresses and you’ll find lots of them pop up.
Other dress agencies – ‘real world’ dress agencies are nothing new, and you may find that some have wedding dresses for sale alongside the more usual evening and daywear.
Vintage clothes shops – ‘vintage’ is the acceptable face of second hand, and you may well find a beautiful little number from the 50s or 60s if you keep your eyes open. Or ask your mom what she did with hers – what you hated a few years ago may suddenly have become the height of chic!
Charity shops – OK, so it’s a long shot to find your dream dress in a charity shop on your high street (although I did see a D’Zage dress in my local charity shop window a few weeks ago) but Oxfam and Barnados have opened up specialist wedding shops and are well worth a look.
Specialist second hand bridal wear retailers – still a relatively new source of second hand bridal wear, they combine the prices of the online sites with the option to see, touch and try on the dresses before you buy, just like a ‘proper’ wedding boutique.
BUT – before you rush off to look for your dream second hand wedding dress…
…there are a few things you need to know and think about:
Sizing – the second hand wedding dress you’ve fallen in love with was probably fitted to the precise shape and size of the first owner, so whilst it may be broadly described as a 12, it’s unlikely to fit your version of what a 12 should be. If at all possible try it on. If not, get measurements and at least ask lots of questions about the bride who it was fitted to originally.
If you are not sure of the sizing, buy bigger rather than smaller, as its easier to alter – and don’t forget to factor in the cost of alterations as you are almost certain to need them (although I have seen a number of dresses fit perfectly the second time around, its still the exception).
Condition – whilst many of the dresses out there have been well-looked after, there are some in poor condition to catch out the unwary. Again, it’s all about asking the right questions. If you can’t see the dress itself, ask about marks, stains, tears, any issues with beading, lace, etc – and get all replies in writing.
Having said that, very few dresses will escape the big day totally unscathed, so don’t be put of by a few lost beads or tiny marks, as they can pretty much always be rectified or hidden.
Colour – it is notoriously difficult to tell the right colour of a dress from a photo – there are so many factors, including the quality of the camera, the light, the way your computer screen is set up etc that can make a difference.
If the exact colour is absolutely vital to you, ask if there is any way you can see it in the flesh. Can you visit to try it, can they send you a stole or bag in the same material as an example, can you visit a shop selling dresses in the same fabric and shade?
Other costs – In addition to alterations, don’t forget about delivery / postage costs if you are buying online – you only have to look on EBay to see that sometimes the delivery costs are many times more than the dress itself, and around £20 is not at all unusual.
Also consider cleaning costs – not all second hand wedding dresses will have already been cleaned, and cleaning can be anywhere from £25 to £100 depending on the dress. And even if it was cleaned after being worn, you may want to do it again if it’s been put away for some time, or just to give you that feeling of newness.
So you’ve found a heavenly second hand wedding dress at a down to earth price, checked the colour, size and condition. What’s left? Nothing! Go for it, it’ll be our secret!
Claire Ingram runs Worn Once With Love, launched in early 2009 to help brides find a heavenly wedding dress at a down to earth price. Worn Once With Love sells second hand and ex sample wedding dresses and bridesmaid, flower girl & prom dresses, but unlike most resellers of once worn dresses Claire vets and buys all the dresses herself so brides can try them on at her studio in Worcestershire. View the dresses at www.wornoncewithlove.co.uk
Last Updated: June 27, 2009